Triangles
by Slliz
Summary: Kendall likes Carlos. Carlos is in love with James. Who chooses who?
1. Funny Ways of the World

**My second BTR story! I don't own Big Time Rush, and no copyright infringement is intended (blah blah blah). Read it and review it, please!**

Carlos rolled over and stared at his clock. It was five o'clock in the morning. Carlos smiled when the song "5 O'Clock" popped into his head. Carlos was only awake this late because he had things on his mind. For days he'd been thinking of one thing and one thing only. He was sure of it, but he wasn't sure it was right.

Carlos Garcia was in love with James Diamond.

Everything about James was perfect. He took care of himself, and Carlos appreciated. Carlos loved the way James snored when he was extremely tired, just like he was doing right now. It was summer vacation, and James had been at Carlos's house for five days straight. Kendall and Logan were at the beach with Kendall's mom and sister, so James and Carlos had nothing better to do than hang out.

Carlos sat up and watched James as he slept in the extra bed that was right across from Carlos's. Carlos's eyes moved from James's combed hair down to the slight bump in his shorts. That part made Carlos a little nervous. If Carlos was gay, he wasn't sure he could handle the sexual part. He wasn't even sure which part he would play. **(If you understand what that means. Haha.)**

James rolled over in his sleep, and Carlos jumped. He almost thought James would wake up, and he certainly didn't want James to catch him staring. That would be awkward, and it would definitely raise some questions.

Carlos sighed and laid back down.

Carlos blinked when the sun coming through the window hit him. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. Carlos didn't remember falling asleep, but apparently he had. He glanced at his clock. It was three in the afternoon. James was gone from the other bed.

Carlos jumped out of bed and trudged downstairs. James was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV. Shirtless. James looked up. He smiled. "Good afternoon, Carlos. Sleep well?"

"Yeah." Carlos nodded. He hadn't really slept that well: his neck was sore and he had a cramp in his left leg. Carlos surveyed James's body for what seemed like the thousandth time. He wanted to curl up next to James, wrap his arms around him, and never let him go, but he knew that that couldn't happen. Carlos could never tell James how he felt.

James patted the seat next to him. Carlos let out a breath and sat down beside James. "So when do Kendall and Logan come back again?"

"In two days," said James. He was flipping through channels, not stopping for a second to see what was on. It was mostly commercials, anyway. James stopped flipping on an episode of Degrassi. It was one of the old ones, the one where Marco tells his Dad he's gay. Carlos blushed. James put the remote down. "I love this show."

Carlos nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

Carlos could hear his heart beating in his ears. It was so loud that he was pretty sure James heard it, too. It was so ironic that this particular episode was on at this moment, the moment when Carlos was just admitting his own sexuality to himself. James said he loved the show, but did he like this particular episode? How did James feel about gay people?

"James?" asked Carlos.

James looked at Carlos. "Huh?"

"How do you feel about gay people?"

James shrugged. "They're just like everyone else. People have the right to love whoever they want to love. Homophobia pisses me off. It's not a fear. It's being an asshole."

Carlos nodded. He stared at the TV screen for a moment, not watching the show, just staring. His heart started beating impossibly harder. James looked at Carlos and laughed. "Are you dying? I can hear your heartbeat."

"No," said Carlos, too quickly. "I'm just hyper I guess."

James narrowed his eyebrows and nodded. He could tell Carlos was lying. Carlos knew that James sensed something was up. He hoped James wouldn't say anything, and he didn't.

Slowly and carefully, Carlos scooted closer to James. James didn't seem to notice. The taller boy stretched. "Damn. It's hot in here, Carlos."

"Yeah. The AC is broken. Sorry." Carlos glanced outside. It was so bright that Carlos almost thought the Earth was plunging toward the sun. He almost hoped that was happening, just so he wouldn't have to deal with these strange feelings. These feelings that he was in love with his best friend. These feelings that wouldn't subside no matter how hard Carlos tried.

James stood up. "I'm in major need of something to drink. Want something, Carlos?"

Carlos shook his head. James stepped into the hallway and walked back to the kitchen. Carlos's phone buzzed, and he checked the screen. It was a text from Kendall. Carlos opened it and read to himself.

Carlos, I was too embarrassed to tell you this in person. I wasn't going to tell you at all, but Logan is making me. Carlos, I like you as more than a friend. I know you probably don't feel the same way, but I hope we can still be friends.

Carlos's jaw fell to the floor. He read the message five more times to make sure he wasn't imagining this. Carlos pressed the "reply" button. He typed; Wow. Um. Yeah we're still friends. We'll talk when you get back. K?

Carlos sent the message. A minute later, he got another message: Okay.

James entered the room just as Carlos was putting his phone back in his pocket. "Was that Kendall?"

"Yeah," nodded Carlos. "He said he was bored. How could he be bored at the beach?"

James shrugged. They were both quiet. Carlos kept thinking of what Kendall had texted him. So Carlos liked James and Kendall liked Carlos. The world certainly had funny ways.

**Please review!**


	2. Forcing A Smile

**Got, um, one review. Better than nothing, I guess. Thank you much, MusicalRose1210.**

**Enjoy Chapter 2!**

Two days later, Kendall and Logan burst into Carlos's house. Kendall yelled, "Carlos! James! We're here!"

Carlos and James trudged down Carlos's steps. Carlos hugged Kendall tight, then remembered the text Kendall had sent him and backed away. He didn't want Kendall to get the wrong idea. Carlos bit his lip. "James, Logan, can you guys go upstairs and play some videogames or something? I wanna talk to Kendall alone."

Logan smiled and looked from Kendall to Carlos and back again. "Okay. Come on, James."

James, who was confused, shrugged and followed Logan. Carlos watched him disappear up the steps. He grasped Kendall's wrist and led him to the couch. They sat down. Carlos sighed. "So when did you first realize you liked me?"

"Months ago," answered Kendall quietly. "I just think you're the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

Carlos felt his face blush. He nodded. "Okay. So you decided to tell Logan, and he made you tell me, right?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. That's pretty much how it went. He said that if I didn't tell you, he would call you and tell you himself, and I'd rather have me do it than him."

"How did Logan feel about you liking me?" asked Carlos.

Kendall shrugged. "He told me that I was still me, and that it didn't matter who I liked."

"That's good." Carlos could hear both his and Kendall's hearts beating extremely hard. He knew he should tell Kendall that he was gay, but it still wouldn't be fair to Kendall, because Carlos didn't like him, he liked James. If Carlos just gave up on James and went out with Kendall, he'd be making his friend happy, but would Carlos himself be happy?

Kendall stared at Carlos's face. He smiled. "I'm sorry if all of this is freaking you out. If you want me to leave and never come back, I could do that. It'd be hard, but I'd do it."

"Kendall, stop," said Carlos, a little more forcefully than he had intended. "I already told you that we're still friends. This doesn't freak me out at all. I wasn't sure if I should tell you this or not, but I'm gay, too."

Kendall's smile grew. "Really?"

Carlos nodded. "Really."

Carlos decided not to tell Kendall that he was in love with James. It would complicate things immensely. Besides, James probably wasn't even into guys.

"So what now?" asked Kendall.

Carlos let out a deep breath. With how fast his heart was beating, he almost felt like he were going to have a heart attack. Carlos stretched his arm out and grasped Kendall's long hand. He rubbed the back of Kendall's hand with his tan thumb. Kendall smiled and stared at their hands.

Carlos almost felt guilty for this. He was playing Kendall, all to make his friend happy. Was that really the best thing to do?

Kendall cleared his throat. "Are we going to tell James?"

"I don't know." Carlos thought for a moment. Should they tell James? He would accept it, right? "I think maybe we should wait a bit before telling him."

"Okay. Just as long as I can be with you, I don't care."

Carlos forced a smile.

**Review please!**


	3. Feeling Ten Times Worse

**Thanks for the reviews!**

Carlos hit his head off the wall. It hurt, but it was worth it. Over the past few days, Kendall had been the best boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. Playing Kendall to make him happy was hurting Carlos more than the ugly yellow wall of his bathroom. Carlos didn't deserve the stolen glances, the kisses, the closeness. He hated himself for doing this, but he couldn't possibly hurt Kendall now.

Carlos turned off the bath water and stripped off his boxers. The boy stepped into the bathtub and slowly lowered himself into the steaming hot water. It felt like it could burn his skin, but Carlos didn't care. He felt as if he deserved it.

With his head resting against the back of the bathtub, Carlos fell asleep. Suddenly, he was standing in a playground that he recognized from his elementary school. He looked around at all of the kids, recognizing every single one of them. A kid version of Kendall approached Carlos and pushed him down.

_"You have a stupid face!" yelled little Kendall._

Carlos remembered this. It was the first day he had moved to Minnesota, and most of his class, including Kendall, had been mean to him because he was so tiny.

_"Stop it!" yelled Carlos's tiny voice._

_Kendall laughed and threw a handful of dirt at Carlos. He walked away, leaving a crying Carlos lying on the ground._

_Carlos's mom came to school to pick him up. He asked, "Why was that boy mean to me?"_

_Sylvia shrugged. "Usually kids are mean to you when they like you."_

_"He wants to be my friend?" asked Carlos._

_Sylvia nodded._

And surely enough, Carlos and Kendall had become close friends, along with James and Logan. The four of them had been inseparable since the second grade.

Carlos opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Now Kendall liked him as more than a friend, and Carlos liked James as more than a friend. Why did life have to be hard? Why did Carlos and Kendall have to be gay? It wasn't even that common for more than one person to be gay in at least each grade, at least not here in Minnesota.

Carlos wished he could change his brain so that he didn't have to be gay. It would be so much easier.

After cleaning himself, Carlos climbed out of the bathtub and drained the water. He wrapped his towel, a big lavender one, around himself. Carlos opened the bathroom door and started down the hall to his bedroom.

Someone suddenly came up and steps, and Carlos ran right into whoever it was. Both of them fell to the floor. Carlos's face turned bright red when he realized that he had just run into James. Shirtless James.

Carlos made sure his towel was still secure and stood up. He helped James up. "Um, sorry James. What-what are you doing here?"

"I was just out for a run and I figured I'd stop by," answered James. "Your mom said I could wait in your room, but then this happened..."

James scratched the back of his neck. Carlos nodded awkwardly. "Um, you can come in a few minutes, when I put some clothes on."

"Okay," said James quietly.

Carlos disappeared into his room and leaned against the wall. That was the most awkward moment of his life. Hopefully the awkwardness could just go away, and hopefully Carlos could completely forget about that moment soon.

Carlos threw on a random outfit and opened his door. He smiled and gestured for James to come in. James came into Carlos's bedroom and laid on his bed. Carlos stood over him, smiling. "So, if you wouldn't mind, I wouldn't like anyone to know about that little awkward moment that just happened. Especially not Kendall."

"Yeah. That'd probably make your boyfriend uncomfortable." When James realized what he had just said, he swallowed and blushed, staring at Carlos.

Carlos narrowed his eyebrows. "Did Logan tell you?"

James shook his head. "Kendall did."

"We agreed we wouldn't tell you," said Carlos, a little louder than he had expected to say it.

James shrugged. "Maybe he felt like he had to tell me."

"Doesn't matter." Carlos sat down beside James. His eyes flitted over James's abs and pecks. He looked away and subconsciously licked his lips.

And then he felt ten times worse.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!**


End file.
